Lost in time

For those of us interested in Australian colonial history, the Australian National Library’s online Trove collection provides an easy way to avoid getting on with the job of actually writing. I found the following little gem under the column heading of ‘Sundries’ on page 3 of The Sydney Gazette and New South Wales Advertiser (NSW: 1803-1842) for Thursday 31^st March 1825.

FEMALE COURTSHIP.

Two or three looks when your swain wants a kiss,
Two or three noes when he bids you say “yes,”
Two or three, smiles when you utter the “no,”
Two or three frowns if he offers to go,
Two or three laughs when astray for small chat,
Two or three tears tho’ you can’t tell for what,
Two or three letters when your vows are begun,
Two or three quarrels before you are done,
Two or three dances to make you jocose,
Two or three hours in a corner sit close,
Two or three starts when he bids you elope,
Two or three glances to intimate hope,
Two or three pauses before you are won,
Two or three swoonings to let him press on,
Two or three sighs when you’ve wasted your tears,
Two or three hums when the chaplain appears,
Two or three squeezes when the hand’s given away,
Two or three coughs, when you come, to “obey,”
Two or three lasses may have by these rhymes,
Two or three little ones,—two or three times.

I particularly liked the ‘coughs’ in relation to the marriage vows. The blue-stockings of the late 1700s were clearly having an effect.

This poem may well have been familiar with the paper’s readers.  With a little more foraging about online, I found it on page 52 of ‘The Humourist’s Miscellany: Containing original and select articles in poetry, on mirth, humour, wit, gaiety, and entertainment’ which was published in London by Crosby and Letterman in 1801.

Diversion done, it’s time to get back to it. Or, perhaps I could work on a title suitable for the 1800s?

Author: Alison Ferguson

Back in the 1970s, Alison Ferguson completed one of the first Bachelor of Arts degrees in Professional Writing and then went on to qualify as a speech pathologist, working as a clinician and academic for over thirty years. As well as writing research-based book chapters and papers for international refereed journals, Alison authored two scholarly books (published by Plural Publishing, and Palgrave Macmillan). Now retired, Alison is pursuing her long-standing fascination with story writing in both non-fiction and fiction. View all posts by Alison Ferguson