Whose view?
You’ll Thank Me One Day
Version 1 – John, the father’s point of view (written in 3rd person)
‘Let me hear you one more time.’ John took one hand off the steering wheel to wipe the sweat off against his trousers.
‘Jesus, Dad, not again. We’re nearly there.’
John glanced up to the rear-view mirror. ‘For Christ’s sake, Andrew. I told you to put it away.’
Andrew made a show of putting his smart phone in his blazer pocket.
‘And the earphones.’ John waited till Andrew, scowling, complied. ‘Right then. Periodic table. Off you go.’
‘They’re not going to ask me things like that.’
‘Oh, so you’ve done a private school entrance exam before then, have you?’
Silence from the backseat.
‘Well, have you? No. And if you get one of their scholarships, then you’ve got it made, boy. You’ll thank me one day, you know.’
Version 2 – Andrew, the son’s point of view (written in 1st person)
[PING: koolkukumber WTFRU]
Kobe knows where I’m going. He’s just taking the piss because that’s what best mates do. I text back.
[handyandy Crap exam thing]
‘Let me hear you one more time,’ the old man says.
‘Jesus, Dad, not again. We’re nearly there.’
Dad’s eyes squint at me in the rear-view mirror. I know what he’s going to say.
‘For Christ’s sake, Andrew. I told you to put it away.’
See, right again.
[PING: koolkukumber WAJ]
I’d like to think Kobe’s calling my dad a jerk, but I know he means me. But, shit, it’s not my fault Dad wants me to go to a private school. Besides, there’s nothing Dad can do about it once I’m in the interview. All I’ve to do is look like I’m as thick as Kobe.
I quickly text back.
[handyandy FU]
I take my time stowing the phone in my pocket.
‘And the earphones. Right then. Periodic table. Off you go.’
‘They’re not going to ask me things like that.’
‘Oh, so you’ve done a private school entrance exam before then, have you? Well, have you? No. And if you get one of their scholarships, then you’ve got it made, boy. You’ll thank me one day, you know.’
Blah, blah, blah. The only thing I’d thank him for is if he STFU.
_______
I wrote these short pieces back in October 2020, when I participated in a great course on ‘Writing Conflict’ led by Cate Kennedy (see my earlier post inspired by this course on Conflict & Dramatic Irony). Another exercise that Cate set us was to write about a scene she described as, “A father and son argue in a car as the father is dropping off the son at school before an important exam”. Then she challenged us to re-write the piece but boost the conflict through altering one or more elements (e.g., changing point of view, increasing time pressure, restricting sentence length). I chose to play around with point of view, and I think it radically changed the power dynamic in the exchange. Which version do you like best?
